Most handsome person in the room, who laughs
the loudest at lame jokes, who constellates
dozens of egos, like a star. Most crass,
most often cast, most likely to drink lattes
with legs crossed, folded like a paperclip.
Most bar-hopped, most cruised, most stopped
because someone knows you from some hip
locale unknown. Most overblown. Most roped
and gagged exactly in between the crosshairs
of our envy. Most choked with pills. Most thrown
down stairs. Most handcuffed to an office chair.
Most perfect one, revered down to your bones.
Most keen to swipe a stranger’s golden fleece.
Least likely to survive the epic in one piece.