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Jamie Iredell is the author of, most recently, I Was a Fat Drunk Catholic School Insomniac. His writing appears in many magazines, among them Gigantic, The Literary Review, and Copper Nickel. He lives in Atlanta and is a professor of creative writing.
His essay, "This Essay Cannot Sleep," appeared in Issue Fifty-Four of The Collagist.
Here, Jamie Iredell talks with interviewer William Hoffacker about fragments, essays as attempts, and the freedom in writing nonfiction.
Please tell us about the origins of this essay (how/why/when you began to write the first draft or to conceive the initial idea).
I put this book together, in which this essay’s included, called I Was a Fat Drunk Catholic School Insomniac. The book wasn’t always called that though. My publisher, Kevin Sampsell, came up with that title. When I read that title it sounded absolutely right for the book. It mentioned everything—or almost everything—that the book covers, and puts it in the past tense (i.e., most of those things I’m no longer dealing with). In the original draft of the book, the fact of my insomnia came up in a number of the essays, hence the reason I think why Kevin decided to include it in the title (it’s also a great word). But then Kevin emailed me and said something along the lines of “You know, there’s not really an ‘insomnia’ essay. Think you could write one?” So I did, and that was this essay.
I know I’d been thinking about writing about this for some time and couldn’t quite get the words right, but when I was forced to do it and to do it within a certain time frame it came out right. I drafted it, added to it, cut some things, edited, and it was pretty much done. I think it probably went through three or maybe four drafts before it was finished, which is rather quick for me.
The initial draft I also wrote on a night when I couldn’t sleep, so that seemed fitting. Usually what I do when I have trouble sleeping is read and write, with hope that the former might lull me to sleep, and that failing, why waste time and instead get to the latter?
Throughout your series of vignettes, some sections take on the form of lists, including books that you’ve read throughout sleepless nights and “Things I think about when I’m trying to sleep.” What appealed to you about organizing information with this format in small chunks of your essay?
Honestly, it just kind of came out that way. Like I said above, I wrote this when I was having trouble sleeping, and the way your brain works at times like those is kinda fragmentary. I’d think about something related to not sleeping, or think about specific times when I couldn’t sleep and I’d write about that, then I’d check my email or get on Facebook or something, then eventually I’d meander back to the essay draft. So I think that process had something to do with the broken vignette/list form. And, since what I mostly do when I can’t sleep is read and write it made sense to list the books I’ve read and/or written when I couldn’t sleep. Many of those books I read in single sittings because I couldn’t sleep, like No Country for Old Men.
The essay takes an interesting turn with the small section starting with “I once read that Napoleon Bonaparte was an insomniac,” followed immediately by another that begins, “According to Wikipedia, lights-out baseball refers to…” Then later another list is introduced with “People who claimed to never sleep.” I point out these three sections because they represent the largest departures from writing about your own experiences, which is what the essay had trained me to expect. How did you decide that this piece should include some researched material outside the realm of your own life?
I don’t really know how to answer this question other than to say that it gets boring writing about yourself all the time. Nonfiction’s liberating in the sense that as soon as you get bored writing in one particular style or about one particular thing, it’s fine if you change that up. I mean, I guess you’ve got to maintain the basic gist of what you set out to do—or maybe not. It’s a genre that seems completely open to me. It feels more like poetry than anything. You’re not beholden to narrative like most fiction is (and I truly mean most fiction; some of the best doesn’t rely on narrative at all), or to character development, or an expository style. You can do whatever you want, as long as it stays interesting for the reader. So, I guess that that’s what some of those departures were for me as a writer, and hopefully for readers as well: they were ways to break up the monotony of what I was writing about to keep things interesting. They have the added effect of feeling like the wandering mind of someone who’s suffering from insomnia. One minute you’re thinking about how tired you are, the next you’re thinking about how much more comfortable you’d be if you just rolled over to your right side, then you’re thinking about the class you have to teach the next day and the prep you anticipate for it, then you think about Napoleon.
In the fourth-to-last section, you write, “I’m scared. I feel about doctors the same way that I do about salespeople or auto mechanics. I’m also aware that this is completely irrational. It’s as crazy as my fear of sharks, or heights, or lightning. But I’m a fan of the definition of ‘essay’ as ‘an attempt.’ So I guess what I’m trying to say is that while I might be looking for answers, it’s okay if I don’t find any. What matters is that I tried to.” Are all your essays attempts to look for answers? How do you know when you’re finished writing “an attempt” if you haven’t found the answers yet?
Yeah, I guess they are all attempt at answers, or observations, or inquiries. There may not be an overt question. Maybe they’re all just attempts to uncover what happens in my brain, to lay that bare. Mostly I know when an essay’s done because of a similar feeling I have with poems: they simply feel done. They click closed, like the lid closes on a box for a piece of jewelry. I wish I could claim that idea as my own, but I heard somewhere from someone when I was in school, and that feels like the right way to describe what happens when I’m writing just about anything. There’s a point when the lid comes down and—SNAP—that’s it. And I get this feeling like, that’s done.
What writing projects are you working on now?
I’ve finished up a novel that Spork Press will be publishing. I’m excited about that. I don’t want to say too much about it just cause I’m superstitious. Other than that I’ve worked on a couple essays and recently, after a long time away from them, have gotten back into writing short stories. In particular I’ve been interested in writing speculative fiction—sci fi and horror. These are the kinds of stories I grew up reading, and I’ve always been interested in writing it. I guess I’ve always been writing it. I got that “It’s done” feeling just last week after I completed some revision on a short story that I first drafted more than six years ago.
What have you read recently that you want to recommend?
I’ve been reading a lot of the literary magazines that publish the genres that I mention above. Among the magazines that I think are publishing some of the most interesting of this work are The Dark, Shimmer and Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet. In particular, I love the stories of Rachel Swirsky and K.M. Ferebee. But I’ve also been impressed with stories by folks who are typically labeled simply “literary” because they published their stories/novels in your typical literary magazines, yet they have a tremendous talent for unveiling the creepy or cool. I’m thinking of Shane Jones (whose novel Crystal Eaters releases from Two Dollar Radio in June), and Aaron Burch (whose new collection Backwing comes out in July from Queen’s Ferry Press). I’m featuring both these writers at Atticus Review in June and July, respectively.
Geffrey Davis reads "What My Father Might Say, If I Let Him Speak" from Issue 53 of The Collagist. He also discusses the inspiration of his poem and recommends the Organic Weapons! Arts spotlight in Issue 57, particularly Rachel McKibbens' poems, "Mammoth," "Giants," and "Rochester, NY" from her new chapbook, Mammoth.
Geffrey Davis holds degrees from Oregon State University and Penn State University. He is the author of Revising the Storm (BOA Editions, 2014), winner of the A. Poulin, Jr. Poetry Prize. Other awards include the Anne Halley Poetry Prize, the Dogwood Prize in Poetry, the Wabash Prize for Poetry, the Leonard Steinberg Memorial/Academy of American Poets Prize, nominations for the Pushcart, and fellowships from the Cave Canem Foundation and Penn State's Institute for the Arts and Humanities.
Recent poems have appeared in Crazyhorse, Green Mountains Review, The Greensboro Review, Hayden's Ferry Review, The Massachusetts Review, Mississippi Review, Nimrod, [PANK], Sycamore Review, and elsewhere, and have been reprinted at The Feminist Wire and Verse Daily. Part of his work as a literary citizen involves promoting the work of others. To this end—a former editor and founding member—he serves on the board of directors for Toe Good Poetry.
Davis grew up in Tacoma, WA. He joins the MFA faculty at The University of Arkansas.
Lisa Van Orman Hadley’s stories have most recently appeared or are forthcoming in Epoch, New England Review, The Collagist and Knee-Jerk. She was the recipient of the Larry Levis Post-Graduate Fellowship and a Money for Women/Barbara Deming scholarship. She lives in Cambridge, MA with her four-eyed husband, two-eyed twins and one-eyed cat. She is writing a novel-in-stories.
Her essay, "Making Sandwiches with My Father," appeared in Issue Fifty-Two of The Collagist.
Here, Lisa Van Orman Hadley talks with interviewer William Hoffacker about concision, chronology, and writing about family.
What can you tell us about the origins of this essay (how/why/when you began to write the first draft or to conceive the initial idea)?
Several years ago, as an undergrad, I read Will Baker’s essay, “My Children Explain the Big Issues.” It was the first time I had ever seen creative nonfiction written in vignettes instead of a straightforward narrative. I liked the playfulness of the form and how much work the title did. I remembered that Will Baker essay years later as I sat down to write “Making Sandwiches with My Father.” My dad had just been diagnosed with dementia (we were still a couple of years away from the official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s). An alternative to the traditional narrative seemed like a way for me to create distance from a situation that was still raw and unfolding. The title (I think I came up with the title first or, at least, very early on) provided a theme to vary on and allowed me to explore different facets of my relationship with my father without being tethered to a traditional narrative.
How did you decide to use the present tense in these vignettes from your past? (What’s the effect you hope to achieve by choosing present over past tense?)
My husband makes fun of me because I often confuse the words “yesterday” and “tomorrow” when I’m talking. So, for example, I’ll say, “Tomorrow I went to Walden Pond” or “Yesterday is supposed to be a beautiful day.” I like to say it’s because I’m omnipresent, but really there just seems to be a glitch in the part of my brain that processes chronology. I seem to function best in the present tense. In this particular story the present tense helped transport me back into the scenes I was writing about and get closer to the emotions I felt at the time. Obviously I wasn’t writing this story as my father and I were making sandwiches. I am not that good at multi-tasking. But I was writing it before his disease was labeled as Alzheimer’s – before I knew what the trajectory of that specific disease looks like. It still felt like I was very much in the middle of the story. The disease itself was unfolding in the present tense and, along with it, the question of what my relationship with my father would be like going forward. I hoped that the present tense would bring the reader in closer to all that as well.
Concision is an important aspect of this essay. All four sections are quite brief—the shortest contains only two paragraphs—and yet each one carries a great deal of emotional weight. How difficult was it to render so many aspects (characters, narrative, setting, dialogue, reflection, theming) in such tight spaces? In writing and revising this and other works, what strategies do you have for overcoming such a challenge?
My tendency is to write too little instead of too much. I cannot for the life of me seem to write a story that is more than ten or twenty pages long. When I can contain a story in a small space it feels much easier to tame it. Concision is actually liberating for me; fewer words are less intimidating. If I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do with a word, sentence, paragraph, I just cut it and move on. More often than not, I’ll realize that part wasn’t necessary to the story and that it was actually clutter. Clutter isn’t necessarily junk. You can have a pile of really fancy, expensive clutter but the excess makes it so you can’t appreciate each individual thing. I try not to be a hoarder in my stories. My mom used to have a saying on the fridge that said something along the lines of, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” I think the same could probably be said of a story. If it isn’t moving the story forward or isn’t truly beautiful (or, I would add, funny), maybe it doesn’t belong. On the flip side, though, sometimes I get rid of too much or have too little there to begin with. That is a problem, too. In those cases, I have to go back in and add more material to make the story more emotionally resonant. The first draft of this story was shorter than the final draft. My MFA supervisor suggested that it needed a little something more at the end so I added the part about sitting on the bus and looking at the dirt under my fingernails. The story felt more whole after that.
In section three, you wrote: “I want to blister with tears, want to sob into my freezing cold hands for her. But I don’t. I guess my father and I are the same that way.” Your essay addresses a common theme among nonfiction writing and in our lives: the ways in which we come to resemble our parents, whether we mean to or not. Can you offer some insight into what made you want to write about this subject, as well as what it means to participate in a tradition of examining oneself through the lens of family?
I wanted to show how my family didn’t talk to each other about emotional or intimate things. I never even told my parents that I started my period. Surprise, Mom and Dad! My dad has always been a very “doing” kind of person. He doesn’t say a lot but he’s always making or fixing or cleaning something. The sandwiches became a symbol of how he would respond to (and/or avoid) situations by making something instead of talking. I guess in a way the act of writing this story was kind of a manifestation of how I’ve come to resemble my parents. Instead of talking about the dementia with my dad, I sat down and wrote an essay about it.
To address the question about examining oneself through the lens of family: Writing about family is hard. These are people I really care about and I don’t want to hurt or upset them. At the same time though, perfect people make for kind of boring characters. Flawed people are more loveable. What I’ve found is that it’s almost impossible to write a story when I’m worrying about how my family will respond to it. It’s paralyzing. I have to try to put all that aside while I’m writing the first draft and just put it all out there. If something needs to be taken out in later drafts because it’s not worth the heartache to family or self, fine. But you can’t worry about it in the beginning. It also helps that my dad will never read this story. If he were able to read it, I hope he would be okay with the way I portrayed him. I like to think he would.
What writing projects are you working on now?
I’m finishing up an autobiographical novel-in-stories called Irreversible Things. The title story is written in reverse chronological order. It’s about my neighbor who was murdered on the side of my house when I was seven years old. “Making Sandwiches” is also in there. Some of the stories are really short. A couple of them are only one sentence. Some are written from a child’s perspective and some are written from an adult’s perspective. Some of them are true and some of them are not-as-true.
What have you read recently that you want to recommend?
I recently finished Lydia Davis’s new book of stories, Can’t and Won’t. The stories are told in such a simple and often jokey way, but they are full of emotional weight. There’s a great story where the narrator watches a couple of cows and describes what they do day after day. It is delightfully mundane. But to be honest, I mostly read picture books these days. I’ve read the book Doctor De Soto to my two-year-old twins, Lars and Maud, four times today and it’s only one in the afternoon. One picture book I really like is Henri’s Walk to Paris. I like the way the text interacts with the pictures. I do wish adult fiction had more pictures. I just picked up a memoir by illustrator and fabric designer Heather Ross called, How to Catch a Frog and other stories of family, love, dysfunction, survival, and DIY. I haven’t read it yet, but it’s full of charming illustrations and how-tos for building things like beanpole teepees and bird nests, and making paper flowers and cream of broccoli soup. Speaking of which, I also really enjoy reading cookbooks from cover-to-cover (and looking at the pictures). Jerusalem by Yotam Ottolenghi and Sami Tamimi is my current favorite. The pan-fried couscous with tomato and onion on page 129 is delicious. Also the pasta recipe with Greek yogurt, feta peas and pine nuts on page 111 and the hummus on page 114.
Molly Sutton Kiefer is the author of the hybrid essay Nestuary (forthcoming, Ricochet Editions) as well as the poetry chapbooks City of Bears and The Recent History of Middle Sand Lake. She is a member of the Caldera Poetry Collective, poetry editor at Midway Journal and runs Balancing the Tide: Motherhood and the Arts | an Interview Project.
Her poem, "Conjunct," appeared in Issue Fifty-Four of The Collagist.
Here, she talks with interviewer Christina Oddo about sound, a poem's revision-potential, and motherhood.
What role does sound play for you as a writer, and for this specific work? (i.e. “trained tornadoes,” “my eyes peel, creak, crept,” “the endless loop of lullaby, the lop and hop and jiggle”), and how much do you rely on sound in order to find the perfect word to round out an image? (i.e. “I hear cars clasp the slick pavement”)
I do love onomatopoeia. (I also love that it was one of the words we tried so hard to get our daughter to say when she was first parroting things back to us—say mama, say fox, say onomatopoeia.) I love sensual detail in poetry, so anything that can shimmy in my mouth, my ears is ideal. I associate in things like colors and tones—certain nouns can feel a particular way—or a poem can feel like it belongs in a bathtub with wine, another might be a window slamming shut. Poems nest and chirrup, poems settle in my stomach. My father is a musician, my husband is a musician, and I played the violin for a good while; I think there’s something residual there. Song caught in the ball of my throat.
I can’t help but think of this work in terms of the title. The images threaded through this piece are related through commas. I see these sentences as coordination structures connecting words and phrases together, sometimes with coordinating conjunctions. I think of “woven lashes together” as an overarching image for what the syntax is doing here with the included details. What thread holds the greatest weight for you in terms of connecting these images together?
This poem in particular comes from a collaborative chapbook manuscript called Kept Ghosts: A Choral Aubade and is written by the Caldera Poetry Collective (calderapoetry.com) Each poet contributed poems on a rotating basis, building from the previous poems’ work—including a phrase or word, always using morning as the common thread. At the time of writing, my own mornings weren’t of lovers parting but of comforting a fairly newly born baby; it was springtime when the tornadoes come through my part of the country, and the poems I was writing for a solo project were about motherhood and the failures of the body. So here we have morning and all its colors and movement—with exhaustion can only come this stream of half-lit, flighted eyes.
It’s one of my habits, to build things up with commas. It’s the way the world seems to pile up in my mind, which doesn’t always help the poem. Conjunctions and phrases are something I’ve been told to edit down, interestingly enough, and I try, when it serves the poem.
How do you know when a poem is complete? “will hear the word go” holds so much weight, simultaneously feeling complete yet full of possibility.
I don’t. It’s impossible. Generally speaking, I’m the kind of poet who is done, or nearly-done, in the first go, which is something I have really had to grapple with. When I was in that late-beginner stage, I took so many classes and workshops on revising the poem, desperate for advice on how to move a poem forward. I didn’t realize it was often nearly-there. If a poem isn’t nearly-there, I don’t always revise but instead toss it, though I have been working on seeing it through more and more, now that I can have the concept of a manuscript. I might know I need a particular poem to be there for the arc.
I think we all have our own writing processes, and mine is to hold the poem inside me and let it spurt out when I get the chance to settle at the page. I’m learning how to scrub away the rough edges, and it helps that I have writerly partners who exchange work, either in group setting, or one-on-one, and know where I’m heading and can help steer me a bit more. I have one friend who I’ve begun to exchange weekly poems with, and I always have her voice in my head: “Wait, I don’t get it. I don’t understand what’s going on.” Then I have my first poetry professor who follows that up with, “You were there and we weren’t.” This is often my biggest issue, aside from those pesky commas and conjunctions (and verb tenses)—making assumptions about what the reader might know.
I like the idea of opening a poem up—of giving this particular poem a feeling of exhaustion and being trapped—in a car, in a house, with the baby and her endless needs—and then leaving the idea of away.
What are you currently reading?
So many good things! Every day, I’m reading slush for Tinderbox Poetry Journal (tinderboxpoetry.com), and I’m absolutely loving the quality of work we’ve been getting. I just finished The Empathy Exams and was, like so many people, blown away by how lovely and startling it is. I’m learning more and more about the hybrid text, the lyric essay, which is something I’m finding my work coming out in more and more. On my bedside right now is Monsters: Mary Shelley and the Curse of Frankenstein for a collaborative epistolary project a friend and I are flirting with. And I read this one a little bit ago, but it still resonates with me, and I think every poet or poetry-enjoyer ought to read it and that is Sarah Vap’s The End of the Sentimental Journey. So, so good.
What are you currently writing?
I’m shopping around a manuscript called Hush, which examines the intensity of early motherhood—the love, yes, but also the sheer terror. For the first time, I’ve written love poems about my husband—poems that are observations and ruminations of him as a father, which is one of the most beautiful things I have seen in my life. (And I don’t mean that hyperbolically.) It’s always been hard to write about him; we’re pretty laid-back, quiet people, so there isn’t often a lot of dramatic tension. But with two little kids, anything can become drama, (Mom, he’s LOOKING at me!) (I want to take a nap with the nest GRANDMA MADE ME!) which means everything has opportunity to be turned over and held up to light, become a poem.
The manuscript I’m most generating poems toward seeks to answer the question, “What do we tell our children about death?” Of course, there is no real answer to that, but what I hope the manuscript will do is expand the options. There will be a sequence about gardening to show that cycle-of-life trope, there will be poems about ghost hunters and The Egyptian Book of the Dead and rituals from societies near and far—and, too, tender poems about the sickness and then passing of my father-in-law. It feels very real to me, very present and urgent, and I’m just trying to keep up with all the flying-about ideas that want my attention.
Paul Curran was born in England, grew up in Australia, and lives in Japan. His novel, Left Hand, is available from Civil Coping Mechanisms.
An excerpt from his novel, Left Hand, appeared in Issue Fifty-Eight of The Collagist.
Here, he answers questions "in the form of excerpts"—with further excerpts from Left Hand. Enjoy!
What is writing like?
6.5.
a) Close your eyes and then hack into your left arm.
b) Close your eyes and then hack into your left arm.
c) Close your eyes and then hack into your left arm.
d) Close your eyes and then hack into your left arm.
e) Close your eyes and then hack into your left arm.
What isn’t writing like?
I go to this novel’s funeral, sit on a hard chair, and observe the casket entering flames.
When you do it, why?
20.4.
a) Lean against a wall and squat down to the floor.
b) Notice that all of the dead bodies have been amputated.
c) Look at a tower of arms and legs twisted together.
d) Realize all of the bodies have had their genitals mutilated.
e) Search the blank expressions in a row of severed heads.
When you don’t, why?
The axe blade struck Paul’s head. He dropped to the floor. Another blow chopped through his arms. The last one cracked his face into a frozen mess of shock and relief.
Laura Ellen Scott is the author of the novel, Death Wishing (Ig Publishing), and the chapbook, Curio (Uncanny Valley Press). Her most recent fiction has appeared in Heavy Feather Review, Monkeybicycle, and PANK.
Her story, "A Picture of a Man in a Top Hat," appeared in Issue Fifty-Two of The Collagist.
Here, Laura Ellen Scott talks with interviewer William Hoffacker about Alex the Parrot, Three Men and a Baby, and proclamations on social media.
What can you tell us about the origins of this story (how/why/when you began to write the first draft and/or to conceive the initial idea)?
While getting off the bus at my house I passed a stranger who said to me, “Don’t look at me, and don’t look in the shed.” Seriously, what a gift. The moment happened at a time when I was struggling with an essay that I had to abandon because my management of the subject was too nasty; it was about sadness in art and persona. But I can be as cruel as I want within the confines of a screwy ghost story.
The piece has a conversational tone, which I noticed on my first read-through based on the parentheticals in the third paragraph, especially “(with a kid, with a kid! we’re not weird).” Then the story takes an interesting turn in paragraph seven with the sentence, “My problem first, then yours,” making it clearer that the narrator is addressing someone specific. The sentences that follow contain multiple references to social media, including having seen “your update” and the lines “I’m not really your friend. I’m just one of the people you said could watch.” What made you decide to frame your story in this way, with references to unseen words and a larger context that the reader is not fully privy to?
I’m pretty sure I’m ripping off Scott Garson—especially “Kansas City Gymnopédie” (“Who keeps throwing papers on our driveways? No one subscribes!”). I like a conflict with lots of crenulations, but Scott is so skilled he can make do with The Topeka Shopper. The notion that one is arguing with an uncaring cosmos is always a fun one, but we’re in a moment where proclamations are part of our regular communications. Social media allows you to be a child in that you can say things like “Red-eared sliders are the BEST turtles,” without making anyone feel uncomfortable. However, I think most of us have manic acquaintances who abuse the privilege, so this story is a fantasy about diverting the discourse, turning it into a conversation. And from a dramatic point of view, conversations are most interesting when you don’t know what they are about.
I want to ask you about these lines: “‘You be good.’ The last words of Alex the parrot. (Google it.)” After my second reading of the story, I did Google it, and learned a few things about Alex the parrot. Do you hope that other readers have done/will do the same? Did you intend for the story to be read in this way? (Also, if anything, what interests you about Google and Facebook in interaction with writing, whether process or subject matter?)
My intention was to inoculate the reader against pathos. That parrot has done enough for us. RIP. But I guess there’s a useful reminder for me as a writer: any point I intend ends up achieving both my goal and its opposite effect. I hope the line, “The last words of Alex the parrot,” still takes care of business without going to the source. Even better, it sounds like “The story of Jerry and the Dog.” There are three statements of intentional/unintentional goodbye in that section of the story, with Alex the parrot’s being most public and discoverable. “We are already ghosts” was a writer friend’s last blog post, and “theft-dismemberment-rape” was a status update that I manipulated. Again, it’s like conversations—the more you know, the less interesting they become, but there’s this wide, middle area between ignorance and knowledge where you have the bits and pieces to imagine a gazillion explanations. That’s where I work.
I feel I must ask you about the title of this story, “A Picture of a Man in a Top Hat.” Not what one would expect to see, having read the piece. How did you come up with this title? What is the connection in your mind? What function does the title serve, besides merely labeling the story?
The working title was something like, “The Ghost in ‘3 Men and A Baby’ Was a Cardboard Cutout of Ted Danson in a Top Hat,” in reference to the Eleanor Roosevelt shadow that’s bugging the narrator. So shedding all those details is more anti-label, I think. I hope. Titles for novels need to gather and announce, but titles for shorter work can point elsewhere. If the narrator has life beyond these 700 words then I hope the reader can imagine her possible reactions to this picture of a stranger. I’m thinking she finds it behind a secret board in the attic, etc. I love that cliché.
What writing projects are you working on now?
I just finished my Death Valley novel, The Juliet, and now I have to convince someone to publish it. The main narrative tracks the seven-day pursuit of an infamous emerald during the great wildflower bloom of 2005, and that story is intertwined with a hundred years of the curse’s effects. It’s a sort of casual history of American depravity in the twentieth century that includes rock stars, cowboys, prostitutes, and the insane.
This summer I plan to finish a murder book comprised of three novellas set at a small college that, in its desperation to save the liberal arts, has partnered with a local prison to provide a unique crime-writing program. Look for death, sex, ivy, tattoos, good vocabulary, and so forth.
What have you read recently that you would like to recommend?
Not that it needs my recommendation, but Pessi’s Night Film was incredibly satisfying, and I’m looking forward to the release of the third book in Winters’ The Last Policeman series. Anyone who hasn’t read the first two should get on it because that asteroid is headed our way. I’m not a big anthology fan, but every story in Chesapeake Crimes: This Job Is Murder is great, even the one that makes fun of the place where I work. In non-murder books, get Megan Martin’s Nevers. Breathtaking.
Clark Knowles teaches writing at the University of New Hampshire. He received his M.A. in fiction writing from the University of New Hampshire, and his MFA in Writing from Bennington College. The Arts Council of the State of New Hampshire awarded him a Individual Fellowship for the year 2009. His fiction has appeared in recent issues of: Harpur Palate, Conjunctions, Limestone, Nimrod, Eclipse, and Glimmer Train Stories.
His story, "Life, After," appeared in Issue Fifty-One of The Collagist.
Here, Clark Knowles talks with interviewer William Hoffacker about subconscious decisions, mysterious creative moments, and a strange dream.
What can you tell us about the origins of the story “Life, After” (the how, when, and/or why of your beginning to write the first draft or conceiving the initial idea)?
I was in the English office at my school (University of New Hampshire) and the cover story to the Writer’s Chronicle was a piece called “The Afterlife of Henry James.” A colleague of mine (the wonderful poet Shelley Girdner) and I thought that would make a great title for a poem. She wrote a beautiful poem with that title, and I wrote the little prose piece that starts off my story, “Life, After.” Once I finished imagining the afterlife of Henry James, I thought I might try to imagine the afterlife of some other great writers. From there, I just followed the path.
How did you choose the writers whose afterlives you would give us your vision of? Are all of these dead authors especially meaningful to you in a personal way? (How have any of their works informed or affected more of your own writing?)
They are special to me and I’ve read widely from all of their works, some more than others. I’ve read almost all of Hemingway, a ton of Woolf, a boatload of the Russians, a handful of James, a good chunk of Dickinson, Joyce, Bukowski, and Wallace. I wouldn’t say I’m a scholar on any of these authors, but I know I’ll return to all of them again as a reader, because they all have something that calls my attention. I don’t know why I chose these writers over others. No Faulkner? No Morrison? No Dante? No George or T.S. Eliot? For every writer here, there are dozens left off the list. The selection process felt organic; I didn’t choose with a particular plan in mind, at least not a conscious plan. Perhaps I’ll write part two someday—or turn it into some sort of longer meditation on the writers that fill my shelves.
Describe your process of imitating the linguistic styles of some of the prose authors you chose to include. Which writer’s voice did you find most challenging to adopt? (most fun? most educational?)
Joyce was certainly the most difficult—I wanted to capture the fluidity of his voice without actually trying to copy anything directly. Much of his section came after I meditated on perhaps the most beautiful final paragraph to any short story ever written—“The Dead.” There is something about all that snow falling obliquely that just kills me. I wanted that image to be in Joyce’s section. I had the most fun writing the Dickinson and the Hemingway sections. I loved the idea of Emily Dickinson being her own instrument of creative power and I wanted her to be happy for some reason; I wanted Hemingway to be a part of one of his stories—and I wanted him to be really alive, vital, in the moment. I don’t know if Hemingway ever actually got in the ring with a bull, but I think he’d appreciate the little inviting flick of the wrist I gave him as he called the bull toward him.
The ninth and final writer in the list is, of course, you, Clark Knowles. (I assume the number nine was chosen carefully, perhaps in reference to Dante.) What made you decide to use yourself as subject of the story’s last arrival? What was it like to construct an impression of your own afterlife?
I should just agree and say, “Yes, I chose number nine carefully…because of Dante…or perhaps John Lennon…” but I can only say that I arrived at number nine and found myself at myself on the list. Perhaps I was thinking of nine subconsciously. I hope I was. It’s always been a significant number to me. Still, I can’t say that it was chosen on a conscious level and not chosen carefully at all. I teach fiction and in my classes we talk often about the act of creation and how it has to be maintained as a mysterious process to some degree. We talk about the structures of stories, about character, about how authors approach the image, about the role of imagination, about language—always language—but I tell them that part of the role of the fiction writer is to cultivate the mysterious creative moment—to explore it, certainly, but also to hold it close as one might hold close any sacred thing. I suspect that I knew all along that I was writing toward my own self in this piece, but I couldn’t tell you why. I can’t analyze it because when I think about it, it pulls me back into the creative space. As to observing myself in the afterlife; that stems from a strange dream I once had (and have written about in several different stories) in which I was in a plane crash and all went black. Gradually, it grew light again and I was standing in a large bright room—like a large library with lots of heavy wooden tables. I wandered around until I saw my wife sitting at a table. She said she was glad to see me because her and my daughter had been waiting for me. Whatever afterlife I imagined for myself, it had to include both of them.
What writing projects are you working on now?
So many! I have an apocalyptic/zombie novel called Apocalypse Nation that I really like that I’m doing some final edits on which I hope to interest someone in. It’s very different from anything I’ve ever written before—it actually has a plot, which I can’t say I have much experience with. It was a blast to write, although quite difficult in many ways. Last summer I wrote the draft of a new manuscript called Once in a Lifetime and during the school year, I transcribed my handwritten notes to the computer. Over the summer, I hope to heavily revise and hone that book—another book that’s very different than anything I’ve ever done. I’ve placed short stories in lots of reviews and journals, but I’ve had less luck with placing longer pieces, so I’m just having fun writing what I want to write. Hopefully, someone will see something in them worth publishing. Over the winter, I took an online workshop with Peter Markus that knocked my socks off. With a little guidance from him, I found myself writing short stories that felt like they came from a different galaxy in my creative space.
What have you read recently that you would like to recommend to everyone?
I loved Tim Horvath’s Understories and Elise Juska’s The Blessings. And Rachel Kuschner’s The Flamethrowers. I also recently read Beckett’s trilogy—Molloy, Malone Dies, and the Unnamable—so fantastic. And weird. I read Delillo’s White Noise, which is flat out great. Last year, I read all of Camus’ fiction—I’d never read The Plague before—and I can’t even imagine why it took me nearly 48 years to find that book; it ranks as one of my all time great reading experiences. This year, I’m reading all of Thornton Wilder’s novels. We have to do that, I think, just dig into authors, get them into our systems. I’m not an analytical reader—although I think I’m a relatively sophisticated reader. I’m just fueling up so that when I sit down to write, the tank is topped off.
Norman Lock’s recent books are The Boy and His Winter and Love Among the Particles (Bellevue Literary Press), In the Time of Rat (Ravenna Press), Pieces for Small Orchestra & Other Fictions (Spuyten Duyvil Press), Three Plays (Noemi Press), and Grim Tales (Mud Luscious Press/Dzanc). The House of Correction (Broadway Play Publishing) played recently in Istanbul, Athens, and Torun, Poland. Mounting Panic was broadcast by WDR Germany, in 2013. Lock has won The Paris Review Aga Khan Prize for Fiction and writing fellowships from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts, the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, and the National Endowment for the Arts.
An excerpt from his novel, The Boy in His Winter, appeared in Issue Fifty-Eight of The Collagist.
Here, he answers questions "in the form of excerpts"—with further excerpts from The Boy in his Winter. Enjoy!
What is writing like?
No doubt writing, like anything else, is different for every man and woman who practices it. How could it not be? For some, it may be akin to love or making love; for others, to music, or breathing, or walking through the woods at the hour when the light falls softly onto the backs of the leaves, making them shine, or, at that same hour, by the sea when water and sky seem all one pale and luminous color. For me, writing is often what a lesser god must feel during the creation of a fallen world: joy, disturbance, some fear, perhaps, and doubt as to its usefulness.
For a long time—thirty years and more—writing for me was the production of words, assembled by patience and the love of words into sentences that, in their incremental deposits, built up worlds that had little to do with what’s called real. They were games to be played, circuses, realms, paradises, killing fields—universes governed by the laws of chance, necessity (the game’s own), or the almost limitless imagination that scoffs at probability, even possibility. Not that my fictions—serious, tragic, comic, melodramatic—were without humanity; to the contrary, they were, more often than not, concerned with the most significant questions of our age: identity, the instability of things, the anxiety that comes of living, for none knows how long, in a place and at a time when we, any one of us, can vanish. In that work, I registered my guilt for being only obliquely engaged with the actual world of men and women living in time; but mostly the stories, brief fictions, poems, and plays tended to exclude them in favor of metaphysics and metafictional conceits. I came of age at a time when language was “foregrounded.” Like Borges, like Beckett, like Calvino, like all those writers with whom I have an affinity of interest, I have been in love with ideas and with words.
With the writing of The Boy in His Winter, I resolved to enter the world (just as my Huck Finn does once Hurricane Katrina has blown him out of the mythic time of American literature into time, the true meaning of which is consciousness). In this novel and in American Meteor (due from Bellevue Literary Press in 2015), I have applied my powers of imagination to social and political questions, as well as to the continuing investigation of the vexed and vexing questions of being in the world and telling stories about it.
You want to know what my point is in all this?
I’m not sure. You see I am, at least, honest. But I think “all this” has to do with ideas of time and the secret confluences by which we arrive at points in our own histories. But because I do not wish to be remembered (if I will be remembered) as a self-indulgent fantasist, I’ll skip the purple patch for now, however much I wish to write it. I need to make amends for my indifference, for having turned my back on the world in favor of the beauties of the way. I’ll try to study cruelty (I regret my own) and render it in more familiar terms. But something of Mark Twain’s playfulness, his habit of fantasizing and exaggerating must have rubbed off on me. How could it be otherwise? So this account of my life must be impure: a mixture of high-minded tragedy and lowborn comedy (The Boy in His Winter, 36-7).
What isn’t writing like?
Writing—my writing—is not like realism. Influenced as it was and continues to be by my many years of writing poetry and an even longer time writing stage and radio plays, the work is not like most prose. Compression, lyricism, theatrical or cinematic structure aside, the stories and less definable fictions I’ve produced have their progenitors: Borges, Calvino, Barthelme, Kenneth Koch, Hildesheimer, Kafka, Vonnegut, Bruno Schulz, Landolfi, Mrozek—I would count Stephen Millhauser among them if I had not come to his marvelous fictions late in my career.
The Boy in His Winter is the beginning of something new for me: a divide—not a stylistic one, nor a structural one, nor even one of feelings to be expressed. The new novel announced to me an intention, unconscious at first, but soon enough deliberate, to acknowledge the outside world as well as the innermost one and to speak to things in the visible universe that have to do with issues that are the meat and drink of literary realism and Naturalism: inequality in all its varied guises—social, political, economic, sexual.
Storytelling is all about well-timed revelations. But I’m annoyed by writers who manipulate me, parceling out information as though they were dealing dope. To hell with narrative strategy! The moment seems right to me—now that I’ve shown how inadequate a gaff boy and deckhand I was—to reveal the reason for my being on board. The brothers used me as window dressing, in case the Coast Guard boarded us. With me leaning on a gaff, like a shepherd in a Christmas play, we were likely to be taken for a party of sportsmen instead of marijuana smugglers. For days, the brothers had been conditioning me to call them “Uncle.” (James was always James.)
The stinking meat and the dog? Edgar’s idea. He reasoned they’d throw a drug-sniffing hound off the scent. He had a subtle intelligence for a former garage mechanic, waterman, and roustabout. Edmund’s career was checkered with sojourns in reformatory and the county jail. What he did when he was at large involved—in their seasons—crab traps, a pick and shovel, supplying raw material to the proprietors of whiskey stills in the Louisiana backwoods. I don’t know what this book is about, but it feels like it might have something to do with the embarrassing notion of goodness. And its apparent scarcity.
Do I believe in it?
I’m still undecided. A boy, I did not judge people as I do now, according to a complicated Hammurabi’s code constructed of absolutes mitigated by fear, doubt, self-interest, and that “golden rule,” the quid pro quo. A boy, I judged as the sponge or oyster does the water it imbibes: by recoil and painful shock or a vague sense of well-being. Children are unconscious of good and evil and remain that way until they reach the age of self-regard. The adolescent discovers a tiny universe of the self with his first pimple and plunges headlong into a lifetime of dubious ethical transaction with the wider world (128-9).
I hope from here on in to write stories that have to do with moral problems rather than confining myself to the remote concerns of philosophers and the more precious ones of the aesthetes, though I will continue, helplessly, to write about metaphysical and aesthetic ideas, too. Ideas and words—these have always been my chief preoccupations and must continue to shape my fiction and plays even as they become more socially conscious.
… and …
(Goodness is a problem, isn’t it? How are we to be good in this world, in this age, and not seem laughable and absurd? [105])
While emerging from and grounded in nineteenth-century American history and that of its literature, The Boy in His Winter and American Meteor are neither history nor historical fiction; they use those histories, inflected by memory and the imagination, as a lens through which life in contemporary America can be observed and critiqued.
I dawdled in the streets of Little Mexico, drinking cervezas or Mexican sodas on the corners with people whose faces looked as if they’d been shaped from red clay and earth. I loved them, though I suspect they merely humored me. They called me Señor Alberto, and the young women flirted because they found me comical. I did so myself. There were no rivers left for me, and I came no nearer to the ocean than the end of Santa Monica Pier, which I visited at night to be still amid a moving crowd, listening to tender words or unkind ones, or to the popular music of the time as I had, in an earlier age, to the songs of Stephen Foster or the shameful tunes of minstrelsy. I stood at the end of the pier, like Rupert at the edge of the world, and watched fishermen dream of once more lifting into the gaudy light Pacific mackerel, bonito, halibut, and thornbacks—banished sadly and forever from the animal kingdom (184).
When you do it, why?
I’m helpless not to, regardless of the toll it takes, regardless of how I might have been happier having done something else in my life. Writing is a joy and also an affliction. The voice, like the Mississippi River, which seems, throughout The Boy in His Winter, to have shaped Huck’s journey and consciousness—the voice in my head is unstaunchable and ungainsayable.
The storytelling impulse was unstoppable once it had seized and fired my brain. I’ve never identified its origin—whether the gift of some muse that might be a spirit residing in the ferment of barley and hops or else in a more radiant atmosphere such as Swedenborg or Blake imbibed (103).
… and …
Jim and I were no longer aimless, although it could be argued that we were never so, having borrowed, unconsciously, the river’s own ineluctable end: steadfastly south to the broad Delta and to the Gulf and from there to the world’s far ends in space and also in time. I think now that we had been all along at the service of time, whose perfect materialization in history was the Mississippi, the great river, the father of waters. For good or ill, like it or not, it colored our thoughts and shaped our consciousness to its own unfathomable purpose (60).
When you don’t, why?
I have always written compulsively—helpless against the irresistible voice in my head. During my working life, only the demands of work and family could stop me in what felt like a headlong pursuit of something that might have been beauty (as I see it) and, too, might have been the need to be heard in order to prove my existence and was, also and most assuredly, simple ambition. (Is ambition or vanity ever simple?) Now that I am retired, there is very little to stop me except physical and mental exhaustion.
This seems a good place to stop before lighting out for the Territory. I’ve had my say, and I’ve packed this book with life, knowing full well that life is always elsewhere.
You want to know how to finish this comedy—with what parting words.
With the same ones Mark Twain used to finish his, damn him!
THE END, YOURS TRULY, HUCK FINN.

D. Foy has had work published in Salon, Bomb, Frequencies, Post Road, The Literary Review, and The Georgia Review, among others, and included in the books Laundromat and Forty Stories: New Writing from Harper Perennial. He lives in Brooklyn. You can see a short interview with D. Foy in the trailer for Made to Break, here: https://vimeo.com/70723153
An excerpt from his novel, Made to Break, appeared in Issue Fifty-Six of The Collagist.
Here, he answers questions "in the form of excerpts"—with further excerpts from Made to Break. Enjoy!
What is writing like?
An odor of struggle suffused the air. It was the odor of springtime, of birth.
What isn’t writing like?
“I smoke,” Basil said. “I can’t smell dick.”
“I can assure you,” Hickory said. “This is not the smell of dick.”
When you do it, why?
And it was then I saw the nature of terror, because it was then the nature of my predicament, like a toxic cloud, swallowed me utterly up. Terror, I realized, had nothing to do with time and space but with the absence of them, and with the incomprehensibility of that absence.
When you don’t, why?
What was the use. There was no use. Nothing mattered. Uselessness ruled.